Through the Eyes of a Child
Gina persists through
her many setbacks for herself and her children.
by
Christian Piatt
For
three and a half decades, Gina’s life reflected
the American Dream. She graduated from college got
a great job with excellent benefits, owned a new car
and her own condo. At the age thirty she became a
mother to a beautiful 8 lb. 15 oz. boy, who she naturally
adored. Nothing seemed to stand in the way of her
fulfilling all of her goals and dreams.
Then in 1996, after suffering from
a months-long case of walking pneumonia, Gina was
tested for HIV. Her positive diagnosis changed the
entire perspective of her life in moments. Even those
whom she trusted and held close drifted away or looked
on with judgment or fear.
“I don’t open up to
people very easily about much of anything, except
my kids,” says Gina, “because I don’t
trust what someone will think about me, or what they
will tell someone else I told them in confidence.
My close friends have dwindled to very few, but at
least I don’t feel I have to watch everything
I have to say around those people.”
Just as she began to recover from
the impact of her new reality, more tragedy struck
Gina.
“In late 1996 I met a man
who seemed very sympathetic about my 'positive' situation,”
Gina explains. “Unfortunately, at a time when
I was just beginning to feel better and my meds were
getting a little more under control, (we had) unprotected
sex. I got pregnant with twins, a boy and a girl,
and had them three months early.”
Unlike with her oldest child, before
she had been diagnosed, Gina stayed on her meds throughout
the pregnancy. The babies were also treated immediately
after they were born. Struggling from complications
following the premature delivery, her newest son died
at 6-1/2 weeks in her arms one night while she was
feeding him a bottle. Just days before, the twins
had been tested and both were HIV-negative.
Gina struggled to maintain a sense
of normalcy, but the challenges of complications related
to HIV, combined with the trauma of losing a child,
and the demands of her daily medical regimen, took
their toll.
In September of 1996 Gina left
work on disability because of adverse reactions to
her medications. Due to her foresight in signing up
for long term disability through her former employer,
she still maintains her benefits for herself and her
oldest son. Today, with the advent of improved HIV
medications, she is able to take considerably fewer
pills with the same positive effects.
Gina got connected with the AIDS
Outreach Center for assistance. Two years ago, she
was referred to the Genesis Project, a program managed
by Samaritan House that provides case management and
rental assistance for clients who live in off-site
apartments. She had visited Samaritan House for lunch
and during appointments with her case manager. From
the beginning, she had a positive feeling about the
community there.
“The place is always clean,
the residents friendly, and the food is unbelievable,”
she says. “I’m glad I don’t live
(on-site) or I would be huge!”
The rebuilding process when living with HIV is not
without its setbacks. Gina is thankful, however, for
Genesis coordinator Sue Mahoney and her persistent
efforts in keeping Gina focused on a hopeful future.
“The Genesis Program is assisting
me in maintaining my independence by helping me pay
my rent. Recently, I have had medical bill co-pays
accumulate and I was getting behind more and more.
By Genesis Program helping me I have been able to
catch up on things and not feel so desperate and out
of control.”
Since it is difficult for her to
depend on her health, Gina volunteers at a local animal
shelter instead of taking on a full-time job at this
time. She works at the front desk and interacts on
occasion with the animals. She also makes time to
attend events for her children, now 12 and 7 years
old. The rest of her time is occupied with her many
checkups and doctor visits.
“At this point, I plan on
maintaining just as I am,” she says. “I
enjoy what I am doing, it is fulfilling, and gives
me great satisfaction. Those things in themselves,
I believe, help me keep a positive outlook and keep
my T-count (white blood cell count) up and my CD-4
count (viral load in the bloodstream) down!"
Gina is sometimes frustrated by
those who do not take advantage of programs such as
those provided my Samaritan House to improve their
lives and gain control over their own health. “There’s
nothing worse than listening to someone complain about
what they don’t have just because they want
the program to come to them.” She realizes that,
despite her many supports, her own future is up to
her.
Gina is committed to a long life,
filled with promise not only for herself, but for
her children who need her and look to her for strength.
She is thankful that because of the Genesis project
and people like Sue, she does not have to face this
struggle alone.